the perfect wedding

it's June again, and weddings are the season. some of my friends recently vowed to be loyal forever ever. and i think i'm thinking... so i posted this (from my buddy Alistair). i believe a lot of truth is out there that only a few can speak:

The Dream Wedding

Why is it that, even in the 21st century, women are being conditioned from the time that they're little girls to look forward to one event: their wedding day?

You see this all around. Girls and their Ken & Barbie dolls. Dozens of wedding magazines vying for the same female demographic.

They envision the perfect wedding. The perfect, quaint little chapel or the grand Cathedral or the perfect garden. The choir to sing during the ceremony, and the four-string quartet to play during the recessional and at the reception. Perfect reception, caterers, program, wedding cake, souvenirs, photographers and videographers... etc. etc. etc.

And of course, she. She has to be perfect: perfect gown, perfect veil, perfect make-up. She has to be like those incredibly beatiful women who grace the covers of those very same wedding magazines that she reads on the daily commute to work.

A lot of women spend their entire lives anticipating that day, and then spend another stressful several months prior preparing for that one day. It is as if the wedding was the culmination of a lifelong quest handed down by mothers to their daughters everywhere.

The irony of it is this: I think that the wedding isn't the end. It's merely the beginning!

I do not have a 'dream wedding'.

At most, I have a few ideas of how simple and solemn I want it to be, but that's it. And that's not just because I'm a guy (and therefore I'm cheap and would like the pain to be over quickly :D).

Rather than dreaming up the 'perfect wedding', I say it'd be better for all of us to direct our efforts preparing for the ideal marriage.

Note that, it's not even a perfect marriage - surely there is no such thing. An 'ideal marriage' would be almost like every other marriage: you'll have petty fights, you'll have big fights. One of you may hurt the other, one of you may have to give in and give up something for the other.

There'll be dull seasons filled with tedium and mediocrity - but there will also be days of great passion. The sacrifices will, in turn, prove to be worth it. You will forgive each other your faults and indiscretions. After the fights, you'll have great sex to make up.

It'll be ideal because it'll be ideal - with a person you honestly cannot live without, and who enriches your life so - and vice-versa.

I wouldn't mind getting married at the nearest parish church that's free, with only family and select friends as witnesses. I don't need politicos for our ninongs & ninangs. It shouldn't matter if the reception is only at the nearest Chinese restaurant available.

And if it won't matter to me - it won't matter to her. Otherwise, why would I want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her in the first place?

What matters is just that - that she won't mind. And that she and me can actually bear each other for the rest of our lives.

I don't care about the 'perfect wedding'. An ideal marriage is what I'd rather pray for and plan for.

After all, the wedding day is just the beginning.

for me the perfect wedding will not amount to much if perfect Love is not the main celebration...