love, family, life... the hardest people to love is our family... not because we don't love them but because the routine burdens of life harden even the gentlest of souls... and because we push too hard for change, without trying it ourselves.

i recall a time when (one of) my 'significant others' had an abiding spirit. we would converse for hours about the deepest things & shallowest things, from matters of the heart to matters of science & spirituality to what the funniest cartoons were. now, distance seems to be the only subject matter between us. cold, it may seem, or even a phase, but i think people can choose to (really) live or merely act out in tiresome episodes of "me against the world" and pretend the universe will wait until they change. life ISN'T about waiting... it's about loving, in the NOW, for TODAY.

the hardest people to love is MY family. but because love is a commitment, dutifully expressed in a sense//sensibility of respect & years of devotion, the routine of life is a routine of joy. my gentle countenance has never left but keeps going through the motions for struggle is an omen of victory... i still smile, i still laugh, and occasionally cry. change will come because love came ONLY & love came FIRST. if we're not loving them, who would we love?

LIFE. it's here for a reason. if we're not living, what are we doing?